An enlivened Shmashan is an enigma, a reality where all worldly concepts become irrelevant. Tonight, it will let my ritual turn it into a gateway leading away from the clutches of space - time continuum. It will help my mantra, which has the potential to harness the entire energy of the universe, create a convergence of every possibility. Breaching every boundary, it will keep me away from the intricacies of the conscious and turn my body into its own reflection.
Like the universe, my existence is not limited to the physical. It is multi-layered, multi-dimensional and spans several realms; so does my ritual. The hyper-conscious part of my ritual bounces off my existence, traverses the universe and aligns some of its elements with me. Then those elements result in occurrences necessary for attaining my goal. Some of the experiences become a part of me, enhancing me, upgrading me by bringing order to chaos and sometimes, by creating chaos to bring a new order.
Then again, energy is chaos. The rapids that I intend to ride to my destination may also swerve me away from it. Energy is uncontrollable and infinite. I must have the capacity to absorb everything. Energy is unpredictable. I must have a way to ensure that no matter where I go, I'll reach my destination.
Seven aspects define my being. Each can be a reason for strength and a cause for weakness simultaneously. These seven uniquely configured mounds of twigs and dried leaves represent each of those aspects. I seek the strength of the governing elements with my left hand, infuse them with the vibrations of my mantra at my anahat chakra and, using my right hand, make a living connection with the mound symbolizing that aspect. The moment the union is complete, the enlivened Shmashan at the center bolsters the aspects as my secondary soul. This new strength brings new possibilities of becoming one with every soul, linking with all inanimate objects and learning whatever is there to learn.
The constituents are absolute. Harmoniously bound in a circle around the Shmashan, they ritually represent the only way out of the life-death cycle, my human form. An influx of mantra-soaked water creates a force that turns all undesirables into the energy I seek. It also eliminates parasites draining me spiritually.
I invoke goddess Kali as the fire that brings life into these seven mounds so that if I chose to return to the mortal world, nothing would ever affect me adversely. I'll have everything I need. Nothing would be able to steer me away from my goal. All that is undesirable would bounce off my shield and return to its source. Those who would do anything to put me on one of these pyres would end up fueling them. No matter how hard and how frequently I'm tossed around, I'll still be here.
The iron in my trident has proved its ability to put an end to perpetuity against the ravages of the treacherous tides of time. Purified in the pyre and energized with mantras, it can create a bubble that isolates me from the rest of the universe. A mundane line drawn with it creates a new realm where all happenings align with my objective. Acting as a beacon, a pockmark will help me navigate the chaos.
While everyone else slips deeper into their worldly slumber enjoying the dreams of a comfortable future in paradise, unleashed by my trance, I rise from the pile of ash and soar away from this desolate land as determined as a raven to rediscover what has always been my own.
With my ascent, stories long forgotten are resurfacing to merge themselves with the one progressing. Stories of pain; stories reaffirming a skewed mortality and giving prominence to the shell; stories of love and heartbreak; stories of triumph and loss; stories drenched in lust and sometimes, with a touch of divinity; stories solely aimed at dragging me back to the ground and making me bask in the Sun that has already set.
Pyres, long cold, have suddenly found a reason to reignite themselves. Those who were believed to have found eternal solace have awakened. Thousands of fiery eyes, fixated on my worldly garb which hides my divine perfection beneath a mutating, warping layer of delusions. They know, I could have discovered it the moment I was born, but, like them, I chose to enjoy the shell thickening the layer further allowing each missed opportunity to make it a bit more difficult, a bit more painful to look through. They are peering through my heart in search of even the slightest hint of fear, pain or weakness so that it can be used to strangle me, force me into joining their ranks as a slave. They want to evoke an emotion, any emotion. So much as a flinch would be enough to set me back centuries. They have surrounded me. Clearly, they expect me to try to run away.
They'll make a perfect sacrifice to goddess Kali. I wonder, who among us really needs to run away!
The crossroads of time is a foggy place. If I am not carefully, I might miss the truth hidden in various guises in a venomous concoction of pain and hardships. The past, though sometimes a grim story of wrong choice and lost opportunities, is my greatest teacher. The present is the only reality even if it is shrouded in thick coats of dissatisfaction and it is leaning towards a divine future. I better balance my vision so that I can see all three of them simultaneously and make them flow towards me.
My energy is at my Sahasrar and rising. If it weren't for my beacon, I would have drifted too far into the abyss to return. With my stepping into this inter-phasic state, the hyper-conscious part of my ritual has kicked in. Deconstructing each layer of my existence, a rapidly growing chaos is engulfing me from within. It is being reflected on the world below, triggering its annihilation, and echoed back in to fuel itself.
Darkness is everywhere. This place doesn't exist anymore, neither do I. Like the time before time, there is nothing. It's perfect. As a part of it, I've become perfect as well.
