"If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it's not for the timid." - Q, Star Trek TNG
Who am I?
Am I a body which is believed to have a soul?
I came into existence the moment this body was conceived. It verifies my being, validates my life. It has a brain that makes sense of the gibberish that is thrown at it, finds a purpose and leads me the way I am supposed to be led. My body also has a heart. It feels, it loves and makes me desire everything more and more. An organ called soul is yet to be found.
Then, there is the point when my body exists but my brain and heart stop functioning. I sometimes wonder if I am a body, how can I experience things that are way beyond its extremities. If I am a body, I shouldn't be dead before my body is incinerated on the funeral pyre.
Perhaps, I am a soul which sometimes chooses to have a body.
I am here to learn, experience and discover. What I know prevails even when my body does not. I'll also teach, share and inspire; sometimes without my body's intervention. I know, this body is an illusion although sometimes I prefer not to remember this fact so that I can allow myself to indulge without worrying about the consequences and witness whatever transpires.
Once I have experienced all there is to experience, learned whatever I need to learn, the illusion will help me break free from the life - death cycle and I'll return to my rightful place. But, if I am not careful, it will turn the cycle into a perpetual trap. I can be addicted to various bonds. The blinding emotions will never let me remember the fact which I had chosen to forget temporarily. Misguided by attachments, I'll be lost in a flurry of conflicting anomalies. If, as fate would have it, that happens, I'll be drawn here at the temple of the dark, ultimate truth.
This eerily calm place is called the Shmashan, the cremation ground - a gateway to both the heaven of moksh and the hell of rebirth. This place is where empty shells turn to ash, the worthless is disposed of and myths are dispelled. It is so attuned to banishing the illusionary light that its mere mention maddens the ignorant and drives them away.
Detachment must come naturally - unabashed and free from all comforting lures. There can't be even a trace of any worldly affair. I must learn to separate the essence from the semblance. Once I have mastered the ensemble and the parts, I'll be free. My existence will be devoid of sadness. I'll savor the pleasure in every possible way. Then, I'll get caught again. Only then, I'll be able to understand that like my captivity, my freedom is also an illusion.
The more I look at the funeral pyre, the more it intrigues me. First, the blistering heat boils the flesh away from the bones; then, it chars them differently into a single substance, ash. So many bodies, so different from each other and yet, they all end up the same, indistinguishable from each other.
Dancing on a whim, flowing transcendentally, spreading warmth without bias, the fire that burns the funeral pyre needs sustenance, produces smoke and leaves residue. It may brighten my surroundings, but it can't enlighten me.
The fire that can enlighten me does not brighten anything at all. It is darker than the darkest corner of my psyche. It is omnipresent, relies on nothing and annihilates everything. The ignorant project it as a symbol of negativity the world over. The wise embrace it as the blessing of goddess Kali.
Goddess Kali is the presiding deity of the Shmashan. She is the beginning, she is the end. A primal force that enchants everything, she destroys worldly bondages while blessing with divine pleasures. She is the stark representation of the ultimate truth, she is the illusion. She is the one who dominates this universe. Damned or blessed, she listens to all.
I don't need to call her. I don't need complex procedures, long rituals or tongue twisting mantras to blend with her. All I need is Kalika Ashtak.
Kalika Ashtak is an eight versed hymn created by Adi Shankaracharya. It encompasses the energy that existed before the inception of time. It vibrates with the darkness that will prevail after everything else has perished. Everyone who should know it, knows it; many experience divine joy reciting it; and some transcend the visible universe meditating on it. It can negate every negativity.
I have my share of negativity. It is way too potent for conventional means. It has a much larger sphere of influence. It affects everything associated with me; but, to my utter dismay, it hurts me the most.
Kalika Ashtak protects me from my own negativity. It engulfs my negativity with the darkness emanating from goddess Kali, transforms it into energy and channels it towards my Kundalini enabling me to achieve any goal.
Tonight, it will enliven the Shmashan for me.
